someone you wish you could meet.

hitler-not because i admire him AT. ALL. but because i want to know what the hell was going through that crazy german man’s head when he decided to slaughter millions of people. was he crazy? was he greedy? no one really knows for sure because no one ever bothered to ask him. and those who did were probably added to the tally of the deceased. i want to know. what drives people to be as evil as they are?

albert einstein- him i do admire. quite a bit actually. everyone probably thought he was insane. or evil. but in reality he was just amazingly smart. he must have been one of the most interesting people to talk to. i want to watch him explain some crazy scientific equation to me. and go off in a rant on what he discovered. even if it all goes straight over my head.



day 7: your ex-whatever.

not much i can say seeing as there really hasn’t been any. we all have middle-school crushes, but 80% of the time they never really turn out to be anything but disappointing. one almost boyfriend in 7th grade barely counts for anything. oh well. i have one love. hopefully a forever love. i would like that.

day 8: favorite internet friend.

i’m not really sure what this means? i mean..i have favorite friends. unfortunately i don’t talk to people on the internet very much. i’m not a long-distance person. i like seeing people, knowing their stories, meeting with them, talking with them face-to-face. i can’t deal simply with phone calls and facebook chats. that’s not nearly enough of someone to truly acknowledge them. i don’t know..i’m confusing myself.



i have no idea who you are. you have no idea who i am. we have a chance to start out fresh. i could change my name, my hair, my voice, my clothes. and you’d never know. that’s a strange thought.


four: siblings

i mess around with them, but you gotta love them. no one can ever just become your brother or sister. you can’t help but like them, cause honestly you’re stuck with them for life.

five: dreamz

i wanna be remembered for something worthwhile. i want to make a difference in someones life. i want someone to come up to me and ask to take a picture of me, just cause. i want to live with that one person forever and be happy. i want an eco-friendly house and a lovely family with a beautiful husky puppy. i want to know that at some point i will be satisfied with my life. i want to know there is a point to carrying on, i want to figure out who i am and what i will become. and when it’s over, i want to die peacefully in my sleep and see who actually attends my funeral. but, you see, these are dreams. life must be made with actions, not simply thoughts.


let me be a kite.
cut my string and let me soar high above into the open, blue sky.
free of the darkness, the unhappiness, the dreariness of the ground.
climb higher and higher until everything morphs to a scene of rich greens and blues.
think nothing of responsibilities, disappointments, or doubts.
relish the moments up through the clouds.
fly up through the stratosphere, never coming down.
meet with the stars and the man on the moon.
finally, with a cleansed soul, return to the earth.
the only problem is: how do i get down?

i forgot..

day two: your crush

well this is pretty self-explanatory..relationship of almost 13 months. if i said anyone else i’d just be some ho. sorry i can’t be more interesting.

day three: parents

as anyone who knows me will tell you, we have our problems. there’s never really a good time anymore. just satisfactory, bitter, and blue-faced screaming. more often than not tears are involved. it’s no that i don’t want you in my life at all, i realize that i’m not fully grown, i still need some support,guidance,advice. but, i also need to be able to watch out for myself, learn from my own mistakes, grow and develop into whoever i wish to be. you’re not always going to be there to catch me before i fall, so it’s time i learn to lay down the pillows beforehand. on my own. i know you have my best intentions at heart, but you’re smothering me. right now you seem to be one of the main sources of my pain, though i know it’s not intended.

holler if you think that you’ve been down the same road

i’m pretty sure 45% of my thoughts are unhealthy.

i need to talk to someone. someone who won’t freak out on me.

i miss that damn therapist.

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