hahaha we were gonna start a band.. what the hell happened?

i miss our squad. i know we can’t ever go back to how it used to be, but really think about last summer. summer of 2009 and try and tell me that wasn’t one of the most fun times you’ve had throughout highschool. minus drugs and alcohol, cause those don’t count right now. try and remember the last time you were truly happy, i mean really really, pee-in-your-pants, simple living happy. happy to the point where you hated for the day to end/couldn’t wait for the morning to arrive, because you knew you were bound to do something fun. can you remember those days? cause it all goes back to that summer. that period in our lives where we were all four parts of a whole. where we knew exactly who our best friends were and what they were thinking at all times. and that time where we all thought we would end up being best friends forever, past high school, past college, past getting together for newborn playdates. we thought we were going to grow old as a group, and now look at us. it’s sad, ya know? think back to those three months, three months of absolute happiness, and try and tell me you don’t miss it, even a little.

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damn

i realized today that my mother threw out books #1/#2/#3/#5. sweet.

i love

snow. everything looks soooo pretty. i’m going to go make some hot chocolate with marshmallows and read harry potter in my cozy bed. and i will be content with the world. yay.

fierce!

favorite cologne, by far.

i kindof miss being little. innocent. naïve. sheltered. pure. creative. simple. excited. adorable.

now we’re all grown up and it’s scary. what the hell happens in 5 years when we have to start our own lives? get real jobs? houses/apartments? husbands? kids?! craziness. everything just needs to slow down.

i don’t think smoking has any real appeal to me. maybe i’ll try it once. it scares me sometimes if i think about it too hard. i already have so much shit going on. if i were to find an escape from it all, then i might never leave. i apologize, i just watched inception. but it occurred to me, if i could just be free from all the stress and anxiousness and depression for even a few hours, what’s the point in dealing with reality at all? i need to be able to motivate myself, or i’ll crash and burn. and pot could easily take all of that power away from me.

yay

since when did it become ok for your mom to make you cry on christmas eve?

 

i love you so very much, and i bet all the fucking nickels in the world i love you more.

how unexpected

hmnnhmnnn…i guess that changes things a little bit. but just a minuscule, insignificant amount. not enough to draw any serious action out of me. i’m just gonna go with the flow, see what happens. SO MUCH SHARPIE FUMES. that sentence didn’t make sense. i apologize but i’m to lazy to go back and fix it. umum. i need this vacation. like a fat kid needs cake. ugh. sososoo bad. i can forget about school and responsibilities. and stupid, stupid things. and just float. snowboard a bit. star watch. nothing better in the world. nothingnothingnothing. except maybe the end of high school….then i’ll be able to breathe again.

life is

weird sometimes.

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