I’m fat and out of shape. It’s too hot for me to do anything about it. So there. I’ll be like this FOREVER

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I kindof ate healthily today. I should work out but I’m lazy and tired

Interesting thought catalog articles today indeed

I wish I was better at communicating

graduation.

days i am surprised are the best of them all. as few and far between as they might be. 

i can’t tell what you feel. and if it matches mine. sometimes it seems like it does, and i love to envelope myself in that bliss for as long as it lasts. other days i feel like a fly, a bothersome excuse for a creature, who is simply looking for the food it thought would still be there from the day before.

i was thinking last night that maybe¬†because adoption has impacted my life so, i should consider it as a choice in my future. in retrospect, it has made me a stronger person, however difficult it may have been for me to get to this point. unlike my own mother, i know what it feels like to go to sleep wondering about the woman (and man) who decided to give you up, and why. i know the emotions that go along with, in my opinion, the most heartbreaking form of rejection, and what that does to you as you grow up and are forced to deal with many others. i know that growing up as an adopted person is not easy, even though the life i have been given is most likely exponentially better than the one i may have had. i know what it is like not to fit in, no matter how hard you try. and how that becomes an aspect of your life you cannot change, but you can grow and learn from. maybe there would be a bond between me and a child because of this mutual event we share, and that would be enough. i’m unsure. we’re all unsure. the future is a topsy-turvy thing. but these are the type of ideas that keep me restless at night.

i miss my friends who decided to leave.

i miss my friends who decided to leave. very much so

i got to babysit a new family today, i love children. one is a four-month-old girl, she’s the smiliest baby i’ve ever met. and the other is about to turn three. she’s a spoiled brat, but adorable all the same. i made over $40 for less than three hours. so really, i’m not complaining. babies babies babies everywhere

Aside

Nice talking to you.

Sometimes I feel bipolar. It’s stupid

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